For the second time in recent weeks, I awoke from a dream that tapped the deep well of sadness about the life we left in Ohio. It amazes me at how long it is taking me to heal and "move on" here in Savannah. Maybe this is partly because we have no sense of certainty or longevity about this place. It seems that there is nothing to sink our roots into, roots that have so frequently been torn up and transplanted. Whatever the reasons, grief still stalks me. I actually awoke with tears streaming down my face a few weeks ago; a dream about returning to Cedarville for a visit squeezed pain in the recesses of my heart. Today I awoke from a dream about returning to Kenton Ridge and asking to teach for a quarter. The people and the place and the energy of a new school year beginning are vivid in my mind, as well as the feeling of belonging. These dreams start my day with a sorrow that transcends my rational thought.

It was in this state that I opened the Daily Office and began reading the opening hymn, "Be Still My Soul."

Be still, my soul; the Lord is on thy side;
Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain;
Leave to thy God to order and provide;
In every change He faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul; thy best, thy heavenly, Friend
Through thorny ways leads to a joyful end.

Be still, my soul; thy God doth undertake
To guide the future as He has the past.
Thy hope, thy confidence, let nothing shake;
All now mysterious shall be bright at last.
Be still, my soul; the waves and winds still know
His voice who ruled them while He dwelt below.

Be still, my soul, though dearest friends depart
And all is darkened in the vale of tears;
Then shalt thou better know His love, His heart,
Who comes to soothe thy sorrows and thy fears.
Be still, my soul; thy Jesus can repay
From His own fulness all He takes away.

Be still, my soul; the hour is hastening on
When we shall be forever with the Lord,
When disappointment, grief, and fear are gone,
Sorrow forgot, love's purest joys restored.
Be still, my soul; when change and tears are past,
All safe and blessed we shall meet at last.

(Katharina Amalia Dorothea von Schlegel, 1697-1768)

  

I dwelled so long on these words that time fled, and I was unable to complete the office reading. These words became my spiritual sustenance today. "Leave to thy God to order and provide, In every change, He faithful will remain...thy God doth undertake to guide the future as He has the past...though dearest friends depart...Then shalt thou better know His love, His heart...thy Jesus can repay from His own fulness all He takes away...the hour is hastening on when we shall be forever with the Lord, when disappointment, grief, and fear are gone...when change and tears are past, all safe and blessed we shall meet at last."

I praise God that the words of this old hymn have reached across the centuries to provide hope, comfort, and encouragement to me.