As I continued to think about the way God works to bring about justice in the world--seemingly slowly and mysteriously--my mind went to Sweetie, the baby that the WAR community is praying for. Sweetie is the child of a young woman, barely out of childhood herself, who is the victim of sex trafficking probably in India. Sweetie is what the rescue workers call this baby because she has no name and is held captive like an animal, tied to a post. Sweetie remains nameless and is denied loving care because her captors want her to grow up to be used in the sex trade, not to be a relational human being. My heart and mind wail out to God for her deliverance, and I wait and hope for the mercy of God. But at the same time, I know she is just one example of the cruelty and evil perpetuated on women and children throughout the world. And my soul cries out with the psalmist, "Oh Lord, how long shall the wicked, how long shall the wicked exult?" (Psalm 94:3) And the prophet Habakkuk complains, "Oh, Lord, how long shall I cry for help, and you will not hear? Or cry to you 'Violence!' and you will not save?" (Hab. 1:2)

Lord, have mercy.

Christ, have mercy.

Lord, have mercy.

Reading the Lenten passages in Exodus this morning reminded me that my sense of timing is so different from God's. The people of Israel waited for many years, languishing under the domination and abuse of the Egyptians, waiting for God's deliverance. It reminded me of African Americans suffering for 300 years under the cruel system of chattel slavery in North America. My human understanding screams, "Why?" Why did God wait so many years to bring deliverance to people who were crying out to Him? For some reason, God has chosen in most instances not to supernaturally intervene in situations of injustice, but does His work slowly and mysteriously, creating change in individuals and then societal systems to bring about justice. This is not something that I like or understand with my finite understanding of time and God's purposes, another situation in which I must simply trust God.

As I apply these thoughts to our current situation in a religious culture that seems to be oppressive, isolationist, and deforming (Shawn's word) to spiritual formation, my instinct cries out for immediate justice and reformation. However, God seems to be again bringing about change in gradual, sometimes almost imperceptible ways, that may outlast my life on earth. Though that may be the case and creates intense angst in my soul, I can have confidence that God is working and will accomplish His will, not only in His people, but in all the world. The will of the Father is clear in the gospel according to St. John chapter 13, verses 34-35--..."By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another." Again in the same gospel, chapter 17, verses 11-26--..."that they may be one, even as we are one...that they may all be one, just as you, Father, are in me, and I in you, that they also may be in us, so that the world may believe that you have sent me...that they may become perfectly one, so that the world may know that you sent me and loved them even as you loved me...that the love with which you have loved me may be in them, and I in them." Jesus repetitive emphasis on the unity of believers underscores the importance our Heavenly Father places on it. Saint Paul in the letter to the Ephesians elaborates on this theme and purpose of God when he speaks of God's love for the church, the bride of Christ--"Husbands love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish" (chapter 5, verses 25-27). The church in North America cannot be described in those terms. We are fragmented and steeped in rebellion, opposed to the purposes of God in this regard. However, God's purposes will be accomplished, and I must believe that He is at work, purifying His bride and bringing her to love and unity, albeit not on my schedule, but His. The question for me is, "How can I cooperate with God to accomplish His purpose in my time on this earth?" Whatever the answer to that questions is, I know it must be by faith and in love.

Desiring the Kingdom

Reading Tim Gombis's post about desiring the Kingdom reminded me of my sin and selfishness. I want to desire the Kingdom for the right reasons, which include servant-hood and restoration.

Lenten Prayer

Lord, forgive me for my desire for comfort and ease. Forgive me for grasping my possessions. Help me to have a generous, loving heart, one that willingly shares and gives up for others. Strengthen me for the long obedience to which you have called me. Clear my mind of the clutter that obscures my view of you and your kingdom. Help me to live sacramentally. In the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, amen.

We are waiting as others make decisions about our freedom.

Isaiah 40: 21-31 (Old Testament reading for 2/5/12)

Do you not know? Do you not hear? Has it not been told you from the beginning? Have you not understood from the foundations of the earth? It is he who sits above the circle of the earth, and its inhabitants are like grasshoppers; who stretches out the heavens like a curtain, and spreads them like a tent to dwell in; who brings princes to nothing, and makes the rulers of the earth as emptiness.

Scarcely are they planted, scarcely sown, scarcely has their stem taken root in the earth, when he blows on them, and they wither, and the tempest carries them off like stubble.

To whom then will you compare me, that I should be like him? Says the Holy One. Lift up your eyes on high and see: who created these? He who brings out their host by number, calling them all by name, by the greatness of his might, and because he is strong in power not one is missing.

Why do you say, O Jacob, and speak, O Israel, “My way is hidden from the LORD, and my right is disregarded by my God”? Have you not known? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth, He does not faint or grow weary; his understanding is unsearchable. He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength. Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.

Hallelujah!! What more needs to be said?

God speaks through "Blue Bloods"--As Grandpa said, May God's light shine through our family, and may we trust Him even when we don't understand.

Sometimes a hideous thought crawls through my mind like Gollum creeping after Frodo--that my dear one would have better off had he died in the womb.

Father Harry has taught us that Jesus revealed God's purpose for humanity to the lowly Samaritan woman. God desires worshipers who worship Him in spirit and in truth. (John 4:1-23)

Today I watched my dear one as he was working on his computer, sound oozing out of his head despite the headphones on his ears. He listened to "How Great is Our God" and sang along, off key. Though many times tempted to admonish him to "turn the volume down," this day I just watched. And as he sang "and trembles at His voice," his arms shook with the fear of it. And as he sang, "how great, how great is our God," he raised his hands in adoration. And once again, God reminded me that I do not understand the mysteries of life, nor the mind of God. And that this broken son is one of God's purest worshipers.

So on this "Sanctity of Life" day with Father Greg's words echoing in my mind, I have been reminded again that every life is precious, and no life that worships God is wasted.

lessons on the Lord's day

I have a pastor--that was my epiphany today. As I sat in Sunday School this morning and didn't see Father Greg, I felt disappointment. And it hit me--I have a pastor, one who feeds me each Sunday, and I wanted him there. Fortunate for me, he was there, just late to Sunday School. But what a comforting feeling. I have someone looking after my soul, shepherding me, praying for me, feeding me. Just like Jesus said to Saint Peter--"Feed my sheep."

Another epiphany--my girl had trouble this morning, as usual when she attends worship with us--annoying, distracting, aggravating trouble. And afterwards we played the prescribed roles in a familiar script--parents admonishing, girl lacerating with her tongue. But then, when I breached the bolted door, a revelation to me and to her. One more memory that tortured this sensitive soul who seems cold and hard but is really scared and wounded. And a cleansing occurred with the revelation, an understanding, a glimmer of hope for better days.

So thank you, Lord Jesus, for the bread of your body and the wine of your blood, for the feeding and the forgiveness, for the mercy and the hope--Christ our Hope!