Sitting in the church service today, I found myself praying repeatedly against critical thoughts, confessing my sin and asking God to renew my mind and purify my heart. I was particularly struggling with putting people (especially one person) in categories, characterizing them with a lack of grace and forbearance. I sometimes struggle with seeing people as a mixture of good and bad. Jeanette Hays from Fairhaven, OH, used to say, "There is so much bad in the best of us and so much good in the worst of us...," but my primitive way of thinking is to see people as either bad or good. Several things about our parish have troubled me, and I had to consciously choose to think gracious thoughts. I was contemplating all of this as we approached the Eucharist and wondered at the effort it took to prepare myself for partaking. That is when the words of the liturgy struck me. "We do not presume to come to this your table, merciful Lord, trusting in our own righteousness, but in your abundant and great mercies. We are not worthy so much as to gather up the crumbs under your table. But you are the same Lord, who always delights in showing mercy. Grant us, therefore, gracious Lord, so to eat the flesh of your dear Son Jesus Christ and to drink his blood, that our sinful bodies may be made clean by his body, and our souls washed through his most precious blood, and that we may evermore dwell in him, and he in us. Amen." There was my answer and my freedom. I don’t have to be sin-free in order to come to God and His table. Indeed, I can't cleanse myself from sin. I have to come in confession, repentance and thanksgiving, but I come trusting in the righteousness of Christ and His great mercy. I will not be perfectly without sin when I come into His presence and hold my hands out to receive His grace through His body and blood. While this does not take me off the hook with regards to a spirit of confession and repentance, it relieves me of the impossible task of self-purification and allows me to come to God with joy and anticipation of his grace and salvation for my soul.