http://abc7.com/news/video-angry-baltimore-mom-beats-son-suspected-of-rioting/684791/
I've been thinking about this story of the angry mother who beat her son after seeing him throw rocks at police during the "riot" in Baltimore spawned by the death of Freddie Gray. Gray died in police custody. This, of course, follows several other black deaths at the hands of police officers in the past year. My question regarding this specific story within the larger Baltimore story has to do with the reaction of the public. Reportedly, Toya Graham saw her son throwing rocks at police after the funeral of Freddie Gray. Her well-documented response was to physically thrash the boy in public, repeatedly grabbing him, smacking him, and dragging him away from the scene. Her momentary vault into celebrity status was met with what appears to be praise and affirmation by the media and the general public. In this report, ABC news, WMAR affiliate, seems to condone the behavior of Graham reporting that she was "dishing up a dose of discipline." People who commented on the story refer to her "good parenting" and even name her "mom of the year." My purpose here is not to make a value judgment about Toya Graham's actions, but to wonder why in this case her actions receive acclaim, whereas if a video like this were seen in a different context, she might have been arrested for child abuse (at minimum would have had a visit from child protective services). Why this duplicity in public response? There may be several answers to that question, but I thought of two.
When I first saw the images of Graham hitting and dragging (all the while screaming) her son away from the crowd, my response was, "I don't blame her." That scene evoked a visceral response as a mother who has known the passion of protection and the fear of losing a child. So I think I understood her actions, to an extent. I at least could reconcile a loving mother behaving in such a violent manner. An unwelcome memory of slapping an out of control child in the face immediately sprang to mind. So how could I condemn Graham without condemning myself? After all, but for the grace of God, I could have done such a thing. Maybe the collective public approval stems from parents who know the pitfalls and anxieties of raising teenagers.
However, a second possibility nags at my thoughts. I have not seen reaction to Graham's actions from the African American community, so I don't know what that specific demographic thinks about it. I am basing my thoughts purely on the response of the media and a few responses from Facebook. (Incidentally, my Facebook friends reflect almost entirely a white middle class perspective.) What eats at me is the possibility that this woman's actions in this case have met with praise because it makes white people feel better to see a black woman punishing her son (even in such an out-of-control and public manner) for being involved in protest behavior. Robin DiAngelo in, "White Fragility," from the International Journal of Critical Pedagogy, introduces the concept of white fragility being a "state in which even a minimum amount of racial stress becomes intolerable, triggering a range of defensive moves." (DiAngelo, Robin. "White Fragility." International Journal of Critical Pedagogy, Vol 3 (3) (2011) pp. 54-70.) Because white people live in a "social environment that protects and insulates them from race-based stress," they live in a world that "builds white expectations for racial comfort while at the same time lowering the ability to tolerate racial stress." This, according to DiAngelo, constitutes a condition of white fragility. I wonder if this inability to deal with the stress of race-induced tension might cause the ironic reaction that we witnessed to this incident. In our intense desire to mitigate the angry reaction of the black community to yet another death at the hands of law enforcement, we not only over-looked, but actually condoned and hailed the beating she gave her son. Could it be that people applaud whatever would serve to dispel violence toward the police and restore equilibrium to the white community?
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