Dear Stephanie,

Today marks the 30th anniversary of your going to God. Thirty is a big deal here on earth, it seems. When your birthday passed in May, I had my usual dip into sadness. The whole month of May kind of stinks for me. But it is here at this point when I remember saying good-bye to you that my mind has been lingering. I was really hoping that your brother Peter's son would be born today. I thought that would be so redeeming. That is not to be. Dear Kristie still carries little Cohen in her womb.

I want to let you know a few things. First of all, I'm glad God called you to Himself. You would have struggled so much had you been confined to your earthly body. Though my heart has grieved for thirty years, I am glad His grace relieved your suffering. I often try to imagine what your spiritual life is like. I have to content myself with the knowledge that it is good, peaceful, and full of love.

The second thing I want you to know is that I look forward with great anticipation to the time when I will get to know you in your perfection. I wonder if you are like your brothers, funny and smart and deeply thoughtful. Do you have that mix of me and your dad, so cerebral joined with passionate emotion? What will you look like in your new body, having shed the one that was so broken?

Finally, I want you to know that I wouldn't have missed you for anything in the world. I am so glad I was your mother. Your short life changed mine in ways nothing else could have, and for that I am grateful.

Your dad realized today that you share the same earth exiting anniversary as that great church father, St. Augustine. Maybe you have met him.

There is so much I don't know about life eternal. But I do know that one day we will be reunited in the presence of the Triune God and the holy angels. Thanks be to God.

I love you. I miss you. I will see you again.

Your Mamma